“Love you for life—and beyond"
I have always wanted to hear these words from someone who truly loved me and genuinely cared about me.
I have never heard them from my adoptive parents, who made the brave decision to raise someone else’s child. They were good parents to me. But two years after adopting me, they had their own biological child, and somehow, I always felt the difference.
I will probably never hear these words from my biological parents either.
My biological mother left me in the hospital where I was born and never came back for me. Later in life, I met her, but she never wished to build a real relationship with me.
I met my biological father too, but I do not believe he truly loves me. He never invested time in me. He never raised me.
Maybe only my grandmother who raised me loved me deeply.
But even she never said, “I love you for life and beyond.”
So I often ask myself:
Was I ever truly loved by someone in my life?
My first husband married me for love, yet he abandoned me when our baby was only two months old. He never supported us. He cheated on me while I was nine months pregnant.
He certainly did not love me enough — and definitely not beyond.
My son…
They say children love their mothers by nature. I know he loves me. But I also know that I made a painful mistake. I left him when he was only one year old and went abroad to work, to survive, and to support my entire family.
He was raised by his grandparents, and I am sure he loves the grandmother who raised him more than me.
And even now, I rarely hear the words:
“I love you, Mom.”
My little brother, with whom I grew up, seems to love me only when I help him—when I send money, solve his problems, and protect him.
Otherwise, I never hear, “I love you.”
My half-sisters, whom I met only recently, are probably trying to love me. I am still new in their lives.
My friends…
We Georgians rarely say “I love you” to our friends.
So I almost never hear those words from them either.
And my second husband—whom I truly adore—often tells me that he loves me.
But I see him write those special words to his young daughter.
He has never written them to me.
Never:
“I love you for life and beyond.”
I think I grew up without enough love.
I never received enough attention or emotional warmth as a child.
My parents did not love me in the way I needed to be loved.
And this deep emptiness in my heart still hurts.
I deserve love.
Everyone deserves love.
I want to feel loved—because when I love, I love deeply.
When I love someone, I devote myself completely and without limits.
So I ask myself again:
Could someone love me for life—and beyond?
I hope so.